To be brushed by eternity is to find fragility in all things;
finding yourself in the world is the highest form of loss;
no longer being lost in the world is the loss of becoming,
when you accept being sanded down into the place where you must belong;
when the muscles of hope are paralyzed, and you lose the ability to dream,
you become one of those sad adult faces that made you need to dream.
The search for belonging is to know all too well one’s world,
to see, like a doctor, the signs of certain, slow death;
to be hopeful, to be alive in every moment without cessation,
being a candle having only known life with a flame;
to feel one’s skin slowly erode, hands ever-immersed in moving waters,
knowing all memories we cultivate leave no mark on our bones;
to dissolve like sugar, into unfeeling freedom.
We are nothing, we pass by like wandering eternities,
to realise we don’t hold, but are instead held by the temporary,
that the rain-battered window, the heavy December clouds,
the things that we cling onto,
shelter us, and we hold onto nothing.
Borders
Borders whether they be national or, even more imaginary-”civilisational”-are ultimately lines of understanding. They establish a within and without, an inside and an outside. Inside one or another set of lines are people who themselves, as individuals, somehow or other are meant to feel aligned with said lines-there is no self of theirs which exists outside of them, and hence, no need to question them. These words, however, come out of precisely the opposite sense, that is, a feeling of immobility, of being stuck. One feels a self which is not in tandem with these lines, constantly coming up and being denied against them, and ultimately, this gives way to a feeling of impossibility-that these borders close avenues for different types of understandings. One ends up drawing their own lines to avoid these schisms. These internal borders we draw-syphoning off parts of ourselves and taking control over who and where that self is able to exit-to be communicated-has perhaps been the foremost experience of my life thus far.
